The White Castle

I belong to a lovely little book club. I joined mid 2010 and have been loving it. I have read quite a few books that I would otherwise probably never have considered, and possibly never even come across.

The first book for the year was White Castle. I can't say I was very impressed! Especially considering that Pamuk won the 2006 Nobel prize in literature.

At first I was really enjoying it and from the first 1/3 I thought it was going
to be quite an interesting book. There was an interesting resonance between thenarrator and Joseph (as in colourful coat) but then the narrator seemed to lose his appeal and become very annoying, petty and pathetic (is that just a realistic portrayal of someone stuck in slavery or could we have expected more from the character who seemed so much more interesting and determined at first).

The book seemed to get really bogged down, repetitive and tedious in the middle. And I found the ending frustrating. At the end I was left wondering if I had missed the point and failed to unravel the mystery?. Or is it actually just that the the book is a bit trite?

Overall I am glad I read it but won't be in a rush to read any more Pamuk books!

Getting Real

I came across Susan Cambell about 2 years ago at the Rangiora Public Library. The book on the shelf at that time "Saying Whats Real" was amazingly helpful at the time. And I have revisited the notes I made from the book when I have found my self struggling again to express myself.

I ordered a second hand copy of "Getting Real" from Better World Books (highly recommended). It is actually a forerunner of "Saying What's Real" and I think it would have made more sense to read them around that way. However, I think the principles and advice in "Saying What's Real" was more immediately applicable and effective - or is that just because by the time I finally got around to reading "Getting Real" I had already integrated some of the key messages into my life. That's not to say that I didn't learn a lot from this book, a lot that I am still digesting and learning, slowly, to apply. Well, onto the summary....

She begins by giving a very absorbing (though slightly kooky) account of her upbringing that illustrates how she (and by implication we) come to be the way we are. I found I could identify with so much of what she had to say about the formation of her personality and default communication strategies that I felt right away that I could learn a lot from her journey and the lessons she had learned.

Campbell's basic premise is that much/most of human communication is motivated by the intent to control - others, ourselves, outcomes, our environments. When we feel uncertain of an outcome we immediately/unconsciously fall back on old communicating strategies that will lead to a familiar outcome - even if this outcome is unpleasant/destructive. It's like we are all running around with the MO of "Better the Devil you know".

Her solution is to "Get Real" and there is a good does of only partially concealed Buddist philosophy in the accept "What Is" advice, rather than fretting about what we think should/could be. She sums it up as "How to stop being right and start being real".

Not surprisingly, after all this is a self-help book, there is a 10 step plan for changing your life:

The 10 Truth Skills
1. Experiencing what is.
2. Being transparent.

3. Noticing your intent.

4. Giving and asking for feedback.
5. Asserting what you want and don’t want.
6. Taking back projections.
7. Revising an earlier statement.
8. Holding differences or embracing multiple perspectives.
9. Sharing mixed emotions.
10. Embracing Silence.

For a little more info on each "skill" :
http://www.susancampbell.com/datinghelp/10truthskills.html

The two "skills" that I recognised as most difficult for me are "Being Transparent" and "Asserting what you want and don't want: supporting your feelings with action." I guess the transparency issue is partly pride, partly a difficulty trusting enough to make myself vulnerable and partly feeling like I don't want to burden people (a lot of this is really about devaluing yourself at the heart of it).

It may not seem, to some people who know me, even those who know me quite well, that I have a lot of trouble with this. And, honestly, I don't think I used to have so much trouble with it. But it seems to have become increasingly difficult as I have gotten older. I am still working out how much of this is due to misguided concern for other peoples feelings (misguided because if you really care about someone else you will have the respect to deal with them truthfully), and how much is due to fear - of many things but primarily of disappointment.

I do think most people, and most relationships, could benefit from some of the insights of this book. I think I will revisit the summary from time to time to remind myself to stay present and to be real.

My New Reading Journal

My previous reading journal (a good old fashioned cloth bound book) is just about full and I am finding Visual Bookshelf annoying.
So I have decided to try this format for my reading journal for 2011.

This more for my own record, amusement, improvement etc, than for posterity. So please excuse the rambling and bias.

I have kept a reading journal for many years - some years it does not contain much and some years it really only contains page-turning fiction. But some years, particularly the last few years, it has been a great place to debrief and contend with my changing paradigm, frustration (a kind of long-over due teenage angst), relationship issues and general emotional out pourings.

This online version will probably still suffer from some punch-bag debriefing sessions, but I suspect I may pull my punches a little as my ego tries to censor the content. In the interest of keeping a true record for my future self I will try not to do this too much.

Well, here goes
:)

The Children's Book

Wow! What an amazing book.

(Warning: spoilers)

So many of the characters were richly drawn and completely believable. The level of detail about so many topics was surprising and very thought provoking. The only difficulty was the level of assumed prior knowledge in some areas and I had to do a bit of googling to know what she was on about sometimes. However I do not see this as detracting from the book at all - if anything it enriched the experience.

I started feeling really sad as I got close to the end as I did not want to leave the characters and I was starting to wonder how Byatt could possibly wrap it all up. But I was very satisfied with the completeness of the ending and the feeling that things were left as they should be. Byatt has taken the reader through some enormous changes in her characters and the world they live in and it is all portrayed so smoothly and convincingly.

My only discomfort is that Herbert Methley did not seem to get his comeuppance. I really, really wanted him to be disgraced or humiliated in some very public way. But I guess a male character getting away with his level of pompous and self-indulgent destruction of other peoples (i.e. females) self-worth is entirely in keeping with some of the major themes.

Not surprisingly Dorothy was my favourite character. I think the whole scene where she bites to defend herself is just fantastic. I felt like cheering!

Power Politics

I have just finished reading "Power Politics" by Arundhati Roy.

It is a a collection of her excellent political essays and is definitely worth reading. She is obviously very passionate about advocating for the disadvantaged and taken-advantaged-of masses, not just of India but of the world. I have included links to some of the essays in case you want to read the whole thing - they are not too long and are easy reading.

"Power Politics: The Reincarnation of Rumpelstiltskin" is a thought provoking critique of the insatiable beast of globalization.

"The Algebra of Infinite Injustice" is a biting but fair attack on the foreign policy of that other insatiable beast, the USA. While Roy clearly puts the blame on the rich and powerful puppet masters, she does not completely exonerate the "average American" and drops a few of her poetic bombs their way. My favorite example:

"Here's the rub: America is at war against people it doesn't know (because they don't appear much on TV)."

To make sure you get her point, she prefaces it perfectly with a very telling quote from a newscaster on Fox News, September 17th 2001:
"Good and Evil rarely manifest themselves as clearly as they did last Tuesday. People who we don't know, massacred people who we do. And they did so with contemptuous glee." Apparently the newscaster then broke down and cried.

And in "War is Peace"*, referring to the government rhetoric/spin doled out via the mainstream media as medication she has this to say:
"Regular medication ensures that mainland America continues to remain the enigma it has always been -- a curiously insular people, administered by a pathologically meddlesome, promiscuous government."

While I would love to fully enjoy a virtuous and contemptuous snicker at the expense of these "curiously insular people", I am also acutely aware that I too am curiously insular and that just occasionally reading about injustice is not the same as opposing it.

* Interestingly "War is Peace" apparently had a different, and delightfully more provocative title originally: "Brutality Smeared in Peanut Butter. Why America Must Stop the War Now."

A New Kind of Christian: A Tale of Two Friends on a Spiritual Journey

I have started reading 6 of McLaren's books, and now I have finally finished one.

"Started" because by the time I get about a third of the way in I shove the book away in disgust because his writing style drives me mad! He frequently and elaborately refers to and second guesses what the reader's response might be to what he is saying. And my main response is to think "Just get on with it". Anyway, at least he has found an outlet in his fiction to carry on the conversations he likes to imagine himself having with his readers.

At least now I feel I have some idea of what his ideas/position/theology are. I can identify with many of the points on which he differs from orthodox Christianity. Some of his ideas are both refreshing and challenging.

Now I need never read another Brian McLaren book in my life (though I am not entirely sure why I thought I needed to in the first place).