Showing posts with label Self-Help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self-Help. Show all posts

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Overcoming the Fear of Fear

I encounter a lot of people who live with heightened anxiety in my professional and personal life.  A friend suggested that I read this book so that I could better understand what it is like to live with anxiety, which can often be disabling, and be able to offer more constructive support.  I am grateful for their recommendation because I think it has helped a lot.

The authors develop the concept of "Anxiety Sensitivity."  They define it as "the tendency to respond fearfully to the bodily sensations associated with fear and anxiety. .....  In other words, anxiety sensitivity is the fear of fear."

We all experience fear or anxiety from time to time.  Something shocking or stressful occurs (the trigger), we have an adrenaline surge and we have associated physical sensations such as an awareness that our heart rate has increased.  For most of us we do not focus on these sensations as we know that they are harmless.  We deal with the situation at hand, then the sensations and any fearful thoughts abate, usually pretty quickly, and we get on with our day. 

Unfortunately for some people it does not work like that.  The sensations such as quickened heart rate, or faster breathing, seem catastrophic in themselves and lead to a cascade of various mental and physical events that can culminate in panic.

The book gives a very in-depth analysis of how and why the trigger leads on to this over reaction in some people and not others.  It also explores why some people are prone to this (including a good summary of childhood and family of origin influences) and why very minor events can be enough to trigger the cascade in them.

As with any good self help book it doesn't stop there.  It goes on to give a program to overcome this, based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).  The book is well researched and referrenced.

From the cognitive angle they look at unhelpful thought patterns and how to challenge them, particularly:
  • Catastrophizing
  • Overestimating the probability
  • All of nothing thinking 

From the behavioral angle they look at the counter-productive "coping" strategies that people often employ, particularly many forms of avoidance.  They suggest the use of interoceptive* exercises to help people "to be in anxiety".  The theory goes that exposing yourself to the feared sensations will help reduce your fear of them.  I have to say, that even as someone who does not suffer anxiety, I think that some of the interoceptive exercises they suggested sound awful.  I will be incorporating a lot of the information I learned from the book into my clinical practice but I don't see me recommending any of these exercises to anxious patients anytime soon, unless they are first performed in a therapy session with a good therapist:
  • Shake head from side to side for thirty seconds.
  • Breathe through a narrow drinking straw for two minutes.  Combine with running on the spot or stair climbing to evoke more intense sensations.
  • Place a tongue depressor at the back of the tongue for thirty seconds.
The book includes some good sections on the importance of a healthy lifestyle (stress reduction, sleep regulation, good nutrition, exercise and the benefits of humor), and the Stages of Change (pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, maintenance and relapse).

Overall, I think the book would be a great read for anyone suffering with anxiety, or wanting to understand/support someone they are close to who has an anxiety disorder.  I think the chapters on addressing the "cognitive" side of CBT, particularly challenging the unhelpful thought processes that are often the trigger for anxiety, are really good.

However, I think that more of a Graduated Exposure Therapy approach may be more acceptable and manageable for a lot of people, than the interoceptive challenge approach that the authors advocate.  I think that perhaps these exercises need a "Don't try this at home - alone - without therapist supervision" caveat, otherwise, if not followed through correctly the exercises carry the risk that people's anxiety sensitivity may be increased rather than abated.

For a good description of Graduated Exposure Therapy (also called Systematic Desensitisation) see: Overcoming Anxiety for Dummies

*Interoceptive - of, relating to, or being stimuli arising within the body and especially in the viscera.  From Merriam Webster Dictionary

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Getting Real

I came across Susan Cambell about 2 years ago at the Rangiora Public Library. The book on the shelf at that time "Saying Whats Real" was amazingly helpful at the time. And I have revisited the notes I made from the book when I have found my self struggling again to express myself.

I ordered a second hand copy of "Getting Real" from Better World Books (highly recommended). It is actually a forerunner of "Saying What's Real" and I think it would have made more sense to read them around that way. However, I think the principles and advice in "Saying What's Real" was more immediately applicable and effective - or is that just because by the time I finally got around to reading "Getting Real" I had already integrated some of the key messages into my life. That's not to say that I didn't learn a lot from this book, a lot that I am still digesting and learning, slowly, to apply. Well, onto the summary....

She begins by giving a very absorbing (though slightly kooky) account of her upbringing that illustrates how she (and by implication we) come to be the way we are. I found I could identify with so much of what she had to say about the formation of her personality and default communication strategies that I felt right away that I could learn a lot from her journey and the lessons she had learned.

Campbell's basic premise is that much/most of human communication is motivated by the intent to control - others, ourselves, outcomes, our environments. When we feel uncertain of an outcome we immediately/unconsciously fall back on old communicating strategies that will lead to a familiar outcome - even if this outcome is unpleasant/destructive. It's like we are all running around with the MO of "Better the Devil you know".

Her solution is to "Get Real" and there is a good does of only partially concealed Buddist philosophy in the accept "What Is" advice, rather than fretting about what we think should/could be. She sums it up as "How to stop being right and start being real".

Not surprisingly, after all this is a self-help book, there is a 10 step plan for changing your life:

The 10 Truth Skills
1. Experiencing what is.
2. Being transparent.

3. Noticing your intent.

4. Giving and asking for feedback.
5. Asserting what you want and don’t want.
6. Taking back projections.
7. Revising an earlier statement.
8. Holding differences or embracing multiple perspectives.
9. Sharing mixed emotions.
10. Embracing Silence.

For a little more info on each "skill" :
http://www.susancampbell.com/datinghelp/10truthskills.html

The two "skills" that I recognised as most difficult for me are "Being Transparent" and "Asserting what you want and don't want: supporting your feelings with action." I guess the transparency issue is partly pride, partly a difficulty trusting enough to make myself vulnerable and partly feeling like I don't want to burden people (a lot of this is really about devaluing yourself at the heart of it).

It may not seem, to some people who know me, even those who know me quite well, that I have a lot of trouble with this. And, honestly, I don't think I used to have so much trouble with it. But it seems to have become increasingly difficult as I have gotten older. I am still working out how much of this is due to misguided concern for other peoples feelings (misguided because if you really care about someone else you will have the respect to deal with them truthfully), and how much is due to fear - of many things but primarily of disappointment.

I do think most people, and most relationships, could benefit from some of the insights of this book. I think I will revisit the summary from time to time to remind myself to stay present and to be real.