A Christmas Carol

"There's the saucepan that the gruel was in!" cried Scrooge, starting off again, and going round the fire-place. "There's the door, by which the Ghost of Jacob Marley entered! There's the corner where the Ghost of Christmas Present, sat! There's the window where I saw the wandering Spirits! It's all right, it's all true, it all happened. Ha ha ha!"

I really enjoyed this little book.  Even though the story was so familiar from watching so many movie versions I still found that reading it felt like a novelty.  A perfect, heart-warming, nostalgic Christmas story.  It was cliched, and soppy and cutesy but somehow still beautiful and effective. I think I will be re-reading this again for future Christmases.  Although perhaps once a decade or so will be often enough.

Cloud Atlas

An amazing book.  A mesmerizing, absorbing, memorable book.  I loved it.  Mitchell is a wonderful story teller.   He has written a masterpiece which shows the best and worst aspects of human nature are pitted against each other

Warning: spoilers!

I really enjoyed the devices he used to connect the stories.
I loved the double Matryoshka doll layering of the stories with time advancing and then peeled back.
The nested stories are beautifully crafted and sandwich together perfectly. 
I liked the subtle (and not so subtle) references to the comet shaped birth mark.
I loved the Sci Fi sections (but then I am always a sucker for a good sci fi story).

The Manor

This is the first book I have read by Singer and I really enjoyed it.  It was loaned to me by a work colleague who is a self confessed non-reader.   Despite being someone who "doesn't like to read" he said that this was one of his favorite books.   I wasn't sure if this was a good recommendation for a book or not!  However, within a few pages I was hooked.

The scope and the treatment of morals, values and societal pressure reminded me of Anna Karenina. 

I found the insight into Jewish society and family quite fascinating.  It is set in Poland in the late 19th Century.  Singer examines the conflicting pressures on Jewish families to rigidly continue their Jewish culture or integrate with the wider Polish society.  For individuals there is then the further pressures to conform to expectations placed on them or break out and pursue other dreams.  The consequences, perhaps predictably for many of the characters, are often disastrous either way.

As I came close to the end of the story I started to worry about how Singer was going to tie up all the loose ends in the remaining pages.  When I finally reached the end I felt cheated, as though the story had been suddenly snapped closed without resolving much of the tension.  I complained about this to my husband.  So imagine my relief when he told me, after a quick google search, that there is a sequel.  I promptly ordered a copy of The Estate from Better World Books and I look forward to reading it.

I did some googling about Singer myself and was interested to find out:
1. He won a Nobel Prize in Literature in 1978, "for his impassioned narrative art which, with roots in a Polish-Jewish cultural tradition, brings universal human conditions to life".   Nobel Prize Web Site  The fact that I have never heard of him before this is proof (yet again) of my uncouthness!
2. All his work was written in Yiddish and later translated to English.
3. He became a vegetarian in the mid 1960's and was a strict vegetarian for the last 35 years of his life.  He is responsible for some fabulously insightful and quotable statements about the ethics of vegetarianism. 

The International Vegetarian Union has a page about Singer and reports that

"He was fond of saying that he was a vegetarian for health reasons - the health of the chicken." 

Some further examples all lifted from the Wikipedia page about him (showing that I am not only uncouth but lazy):

"How can we speak of right and justice if we take an innocent creature and shed its blood?"

In The Letter Writer, he wrote:

"In relation to [animals], all people are Nazis; for the animals, it is an eternal Treblinka."

In the preface to Steven Rosen's "Food for Spirit: Vegetarianism and the World Religions" (1986), Singer wrote:

"When a human kills an animal for food, he is neglecting his own hunger for justice. Man prays for mercy, but is unwilling to extend it to others. Why should man then expect mercy from God? It's unfair to expect something that you are not willing to give. It is inconsistent. I can never accept inconsistency or injustice. Even if it comes from God. If there would come a voice from God saying, "I'm against vegetarianism!" I would say, "Well, I am for it!" This is how strongly I feel in this regard."

Open City

I struggled a bit with this one at first.  It was for book club and I was rushing to try and finish it in time for book club so perhaps that made it a bit harder.  Possibly if I had taken my time with it I would have enjoyed it more.

As it was I found it a bit tedious, pretentious and not very engaging. 

I enjoyed some of the conversations, particularly the political conversations that take place in Brussels.  And looking back now I can see that the book is well crafted and I suspect deserves more credit than I originally gave it.

I guess that overall I just couldn't get away from the feeling that the book, and by implication the author, was taking itself a bit too seriously.  But perhaps I was influenced by the photo of Cole in dust jacket.  I don't know why, and I know it is immature of me, but there is just something about the photo that I really don't like. But I am sure that indicates something wrong with me not Cole.  However, I really like his photography. 

Here's a link to his web site: tejucole.com/
If you want to see some of his photos: flickr - Teju Cole
And if you want to see the one of the most prolific twitter streams I have ever come across: Teju Cole on Twitter

Maestro

First impressions?
Misleading, of course.  As always.  But unforgettable.....

A miracle was occurring.  In the span of one lunchtime, music, the universal common language, would come to provide me with permanent protection in the schoolyard, and a safe conduct pass into even the darkest corners of the Covered Area.

Coming of age novels can be tedious and formulaic.   And certainly there are some predictable elements in Maestro.  However overall I really enjoyed this book.  A perfect holiday read. (I read most of it reclining in a spa bath.)

Overcoming the Fear of Fear

I encounter a lot of people who live with heightened anxiety in my professional and personal life.  A friend suggested that I read this book so that I could better understand what it is like to live with anxiety, which can often be disabling, and be able to offer more constructive support.  I am grateful for their recommendation because I think it has helped a lot.

The authors develop the concept of "Anxiety Sensitivity."  They define it as "the tendency to respond fearfully to the bodily sensations associated with fear and anxiety. .....  In other words, anxiety sensitivity is the fear of fear."

We all experience fear or anxiety from time to time.  Something shocking or stressful occurs (the trigger), we have an adrenaline surge and we have associated physical sensations such as an awareness that our heart rate has increased.  For most of us we do not focus on these sensations as we know that they are harmless.  We deal with the situation at hand, then the sensations and any fearful thoughts abate, usually pretty quickly, and we get on with our day. 

Unfortunately for some people it does not work like that.  The sensations such as quickened heart rate, or faster breathing, seem catastrophic in themselves and lead to a cascade of various mental and physical events that can culminate in panic.

The book gives a very in-depth analysis of how and why the trigger leads on to this over reaction in some people and not others.  It also explores why some people are prone to this (including a good summary of childhood and family of origin influences) and why very minor events can be enough to trigger the cascade in them.

As with any good self help book it doesn't stop there.  It goes on to give a program to overcome this, based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).  The book is well researched and referrenced.

From the cognitive angle they look at unhelpful thought patterns and how to challenge them, particularly:

• Catastrophizing
• Overestimating the probability
• All of nothing thinking 

From the behavioral angle they look at the counter-productive "coping" strategies that people often employ, particularly many forms of avoidance.  They suggest the use of interoceptive* exercises to help people "to be in anxiety".  The theory goes that exposing yourself to the feared sensations will help reduce your fear of them.  I have to say, that even as someone who does not suffer anxiety, I think that some of the interoceptive exercises they suggested sound awful.  I will be incorporating a lot of the information I learned from the book into my clinical practice but I don't see me recommending any of these exercises to anxious patients anytime soon, unless they are first performed in a therapy session with a good therapist:

• Shake head from side to side for thirty seconds.
• Breathe through a narrow drinking straw for two minutes.  Combine with running on the spot or stair climbing to evoke more intense sensations.
• Place a tongue depressor at the back of the tongue for thirty seconds.

The book includes some good sections on the importance of a healthy lifestyle (stress reduction, sleep regulation, good nutrition, exercise and the benefits of humor), and the Stages of Change (pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, maintenance and relapse).

Overall, I think the book would be a great read for anyone suffering with anxiety, or wanting to understand/support someone they are close to who has an anxiety disorder.  I think the chapters on addressing the "cognitive" side of CBT, particularly challenging the unhelpful thought processes that are often the trigger for anxiety, are really good.

However, I think that more of a Graduated Exposure Therapy approach may be more acceptable and manageable for a lot of people, than the interoceptive challenge approach that the authors advocate.  I think that perhaps these exercises need a "Don't try this at home - alone - without therapist supervision" caveat, otherwise, if not followed through correctly the exercises carry the risk that people's anxiety sensitivity may be increased rather than abated.

For a good description of Graduated Exposure Therapy (also called Systematic Desensitisation) see: Overcoming Anxiety for Dummies

*Interoceptive - of, relating to, or being stimuli arising within the body and especially in the viscera.  From Merriam Webster Dictionary

Love Wins

"Does God punish people for thousands of years with infinite, eternal torment for things they did in their few finite years of life?"

"Not all Christians have believed this, and you don't have to believe it to be Christian."

"It often appears that those who talk the most about going to heaven when you die talk the least about bringing heaven to earth right now, as Jesus taught us to pray: "Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven."  At the same time, it often appears that those who talk the most about relieving suffering now talk the least about heaven when we die."

- Rob Bell  

Bell makes some astute observations and very good points in this little book.  So why are so many "Christians" gnashing their teeth and denouncing him?  One word: Universalism!

There has been so much furor about this book that my interest was piqued.  I just had to read it for myself - unlike many of it's critics who have slated it without bothering to read it.

Love Wins is an incredibly short book for one that has caused such a stir.  It could be read in one sitting.  However Bell has managed to stretch the printed version to a standard book size with his

annoying habit

of spacing out the text

so that a few sentences

cover one page.

And then,

he leaves gaps between paragraphs 

to make it clear where you should 

pause

and get all contemplative.

Grrrrr....  Annoying isn't it!

I felt like yelling "I'm an adult.  I can cope with a few sentences per paragraph!"  It's like he hasn't quite decided if he is writing prose or poetry.  How very emergent of him!

The sleeve carries a strong endorsement from Eugene Peterson (of The Message fame) which includes a description of the book as being "without a trace of soft sentimentality".  Rubbish!!  I can't remember the last time I read such soppy, sentimental and emotive writing.

Putting aside pedantic ranting about his style, how about the content?  Well I certainly can comprehend his point of view more than the opinion of the majority of evangelical Christians who want to cling to their view that many/most of the people they know will be punished infinitely and consciously for finite sins.   

I really like his treatment of the story of the Prodigal Son.   He uses the attitude of the older brother to confront the view of those who cling to the fundamentalist, evangelical view of hell. He shows the self-satisfied "them vs us" mentality for what it really is.

He claims that his father has dealt with his brother according to a totally different set of standards.  He thinks his father is unfair.  He thinks he's been wronged, shorted, shafted.  And he's furious about it.

The older brother has been clinging to his version of events for so long, it's hard for him to conceive of any other way of seeing things.

My question is: why haven't there been more Christian leaders in the last two centuries advocating for Universalism, or at least expressing that they hoped Universalism to be true.  As Bell aptly puts it "one has to admit that it is fitting, proper and Christian to long for it."  Support for this view in the modern church would have saved me a lot of confusion, angst and pain in my teens and twenties. 

The only evangelical theologian I know of, or at least theologian accepted by the evangelical community, who came close was John Stott.  But even he shied away from fully endorsing it:

Emotionally, I find the concept [of eternal conscious torment] intolerable and do not understand how people can live with it without either cauterising their feelings or cracking under the strain. But our emotions are a fluctuating, unreliable guide to truth and must not be exalted to the place of supreme authority in determining it . . . my question must be — and is — not what does my heart tell me, but what does God’s word say?

And C.S. Lewis of course - but evangelicals are so selective in their Lewis reading that they often miss it.  Interestingly, in his acknowledgements, Bell thanks his parents for "suggesting when I was in high school that I read C.S. Lewis."  I will whole heartedly endorse reading Lewis to make the journey from childish (often idealised as "child-like") faith towards a more  consistent view of reality, with less delusion and denial.  

That's not to say I have embraced a belief in Universalism.   I am still at the starting point of questions.  Like: Is there a God?  Is there any form of existence after the death of our body?  If there is a God, then why the problem of evil?  Does God, or would God, reveal himself to humanity through any (or all) of the world religions?

As I can't seem to get a convincing yes answer to the first 2 questions, it seems pretty pointless to bother about the rest at the moment.  And I think that anyone who claims to have a water-tight, uncontestable view on those two questions, whatever answer they arrive at, is deluding themselves.

But........, if there is a God, I sure hope they believe in Universalism.  I just cannot see how they could possibly live happily ever after with some, while imprisoning the rest of their human creations in eternal, conscious punishment.  Surely the double pre-destination inherent in that view would be as abhorrent to any kind of omniscient, omnipotent, omnibenevolent being as it is to me.  (Avoiding male pronouns sure makes for some awkward writing at times!)

One last favorite quote from the book to end my little rant:

This is why Christians who talk the most about going to heaven while everybody else goes to hell don't throw very good parties.

Last Days of the Dog-Men

A beautiful collection of short stories that had more to say about humans than dogs.  Though I guess that will come as no surprise.

Watson writes about a wide range of situations with gentle probing and sympathetic unveiling.  The characters are shown with all their objectionable blemishes and yet are still cloaked in vulnerable humanity.

I read these stories slowly, with pauses between each, to savour them and make them last.  Each had a unique impact - as all good short stories should.  There may have been a tear or two.  I will not soon forget the characters, particularly the tragic ones.  And there was enough sweet tragedy to satisfy even the most melancholic reader.  However the stories are never morbid or cynical.

Overall Watson has a achieved a collection that encourages introspection and empathy for those around us.  That seems a very impressive and worth while impact for a little book of short stories.

On Liberty

Truth gains more even by the errors of one who, with due study and preparation, thinks for himself than by the true opinions of those who only hold them because they do not suffer themselves to think.

If the cultivation of the understanding consists in one thing more than in another, it is surely in learning the grounds of one's own opinions. 

I enjoyed reading this immensely.  (Like my very 19th century choice of word?)  It was the subject of my first politics essay for the unit I am currently studying The Liberal Democratic State.  The book is insightful, engaging and challenging.  I tagged, highlighted and scribbled in this book with gusto.  I even chuckled to myself many times.  

Despite Mill's dour expression, (unattractive fellow wasn't he?), he was a man capable of intense passion.  I enjoyed reading the in depth introduction with lots of biographical information in this Penguin edition.  Harriet was a very lucky lady!   I don't know of many other examples of a relationship as deep, enduring and productive as theirs.  Pity she was already married when they met.  Fortunately her first husband, being much older, conveniently died while Mill still had a lot of life left to live with her.  Perhaps their years of honorably being "just friends" was in some measure responsible for the depth of their intimacy.  Is there a better basis for enduring love than deep and abiding friendship?  At the bottom of this entry is Mill's dedication to Harriet in On Liberty.  A tear-jerker! 

So what is the book about?  Mill is advocating for liberty - that individuals are sovereign over themselves.  He argues that it is not legitimate for anyone, government or individuals, to interfere with another person, except to prevent harm to others.  This has become famously known as the Harm Principle:

That the only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member of a civilized community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others. His own good, either physical or moral, is not sufficient warrant.  

Mill sees the repressive Victorian culture as very damaging to individuality and originality.  He recognises that social pressures to conform lead to the suppression of truth and laziness of thinking.  He argues that liberty is essential in three domains: liberty of thought, liberty of tastes and pursuits and liberty of association.  He presents a compelling case for freedom of speech that has been the cornerstone for western societies commitment to this freedom.

John Stuart Mill had a brilliant mind and his political ideas were revolutionary.  It is a shame that their subsequent effect on the western political landscape has been so diluted and polluted by capitalistic greed.  Perhaps Hobbes was right after all, though I wistfully hope not.

To the beloved and deplored memory of her who was the inspirer, and in part the author, of all that is best in my writings- the friend and wife whose exalted sense of truth and right was my strongest incitement, and whose approbation was my chief reward—I dedicate this volume. Like all that I have written for many years, it belongs as much to her as to me; but the work as it stands has had, in a very insufficient degree, the inestimable advantage of her revision; some of the most important portions having been reserved for a more careful re-examination, which they are now never destined to receive. Were I but capable of interpreting to the world one half the great thoughts and noble feelings which are buried in her grave, I should be the medium of a greater benefit to it, than is ever likely to arise from anything that I can write, unprompted and unassisted by her all but unrivalled wisdom.

Agnes Grey

"You're to go to the schoolroom directly, mum - the young ladies is WAITING!!"  Cimax of horror!  Actually waiting for their governess!!! 

After being traumatised by The Wasp Factory I wanted to read something "nice".   So this was a perfect choice because, well, you don't get much nicer than Agnes Grey.

I thought I had not read this book before, but within a few pages I realised that I had.  I felt slightly disappointed that it was not going to be new or surprising, but then again, it was never going to be that surprising was it?

Anne is definitely the least Bronte-ish of the famed sisters.  Agnes Grey is much more Mansfield Park than Wuthering Heights.  It is a very preachy little book.  Agnes would give Fanny Price a run for her money in the goody-two-shoes department, although with the retrospective narrative position, Agnes at least carries a bit more authority and insight.  

Just when you start to feel that the book is a little too nice Agnes goes ahead and falls in love.  And then the moralising gets diluted by some good old fashioned romance.  Exactly what I needed to help me recover from the torturing of wasps!

I tend to get mixed up with who's who and who wrote what amongst the Brontes.  Fortunately a quick wiki search can set it all straight.  To aid my memory, of the 3 Bronte sisters who survived childhood:

The Bronte Sisters

Charlotte, the eldest, outlived the rest, experienced some acclaim in her lifetime for Jane Eyre, married her father's curate, but died soon after at 38yo while pregnant.  Her novels:

- Jane Eyre

- Shirley

- Villette

- The Professor (written before Jane Eyre but rejected by publishers during Charlotte's life)

Emily, the middle sister, died at 30 years old in December 1948, just 3 months after Branwell's death in September 1948.  She published one glorious novel:

- Wuthering Heights

Anne, the youngest of the family, died at 29 years old, 5 months after Emily in May 1949.  Her contribution:

- Agnes Grey

- The Tenant of Wildfell Hall

All three of the sisters also wrote poetry.  Their first published volume, containing poems by all 3, was not well received at first.  The portrait above was painted by Branwell.  Apparently Branwell was also in this portrait originally but either removed himself, or was rubbed out by his father after an argument!

Poor little Anne is the apparently the least distinguished according to wikipedia.  I guess her writing is the least like to be studied by high school English Literature students, if this is anything to gauge by!  And yet the entry on wikipedia about her is much, much longer than either of the entries about her sisters.  Go figure.

Anne on Wikipedia 

The Wasp Factory

This is not a book that you "enjoy" reading exactly.  I found myself wondering at times "What kind of person writes a book like this?"

But I did find it engrossing and intriguing.  I thought the portrayal of the main character, and in particularly his psychopathy, fairly convincing.  Though this point was strongly disputed by other members of book club.  Over the course of the story I found myself warming to the awful main character, almost against my will, and despite a strong sense of revulsion.

Banks story-telling ability is demonstrated well enough to leave me wanting to read more of his work.  That in itself seems a strong testament to an authors first published novel. 

He publishes as Iain Banks for "regular" fiction and as Iain M. Banks for science fiction.  I plan on trying one of his scifi books soon.  A dose of good scifi is always welcome - so hopefully Iain M. Banks has some good scifi to offer.

The Ethics of What We Eat

"We can make better choices." 

This book has been sitting on my book shelf for about 4 years.  I have put off reading it because I knew that when I did I would need to make some changes.    And I did.

The book starts from the view point of the dinner table and shopping habits of three families: “Typical American Diet”, “The Conscientious Omnivores” and “The Vegans”.   

I think that the eating style of the families represents most of the spectrum of family eating patterns, and I think any reader would find a lot they could identify with in the concerns expressed by the families.  From budget constraints, to lack of time, to struggles in balancing good nutrition with the children’s taste buds.


The consequences of the families' food choices are investigated.  The families are all treated respectfully, but it is made very apparent that some food choices are having terrible consequences which can be considered ethically wrong, even if unintended.

Although Singer is well know for his animal rights activism the book does not focus narrowly on the impact our food choices have on animals.  Instead a broad range of issues is considered including the environment, poverty, equality, and fairness.  I was particularly impressed that the complexity of the issues is presented, rather than broad, generalizations with overstated easy solutions. 

I found that the format worked very well as it made the information seem so relevant and applicable.  The book is well researched, extensively referenced and presented in very readable style.

Singer and Mason present a compelling argument that inspired and motivated me rather than making me feel guilty - and that is not an easy balance to find.  I highly recommend this book to, well, everyone.  We all eat!  And, to echo the authors, we can all make better choices.

Swallow

This month our book club made a daunting effort in the realm of poetry.  Daunting because most of us are not regularly poetry readers.  In fact I have rarely read poetry at all since finishing Year 12 English Literature.  Shame on me!

Swallow is a book of modern poetry with lots of 'in-crowd" references and barely a rhyme in sight.  So I guess it is not surprising that most of us did not "like" the book too much.  There was plenty of criticism tossed around along the lines of "should our taxes really be paying for this?" and "it seems like she is just being too obscure by trying to be so clever".  My contribution to the discussion was mostly not in praise of Ms Potter.

However, over the days that followed book club I flicked through Swallow again and, I have to say, I liked the collection a lot more when dipping into it more casually.  (Rather than frantically trying to make some sense of it so I wouldn't look like the only twit at bookclub - only to find that the rest of the club hadn't be able to get much out of it either).

 There are actually a good handful of poems that have grown on me and I feel that I was a
bit harsh in some of my comments at book club. So sorry Ms Potter, not that you will ever know of course, that I judged you too quickly and too harshly.

My favourite of the collection is "In the Shadow of My Mother".  Googling Tsvetaeva, who is mentioned in the poem, resulted in an hour or so of becoming acquainted with Marina Tsvetaeva, tragic Russian poet of the early 1900s.  And while I still feel that there is some spark of passionate humanity lacking in Potters poems, and yet so evident in Tsvetaeva's poetry, I still think it is worth re-producing the poem here.

In the Shadow of My Mother

I'll set you, lady poem

in a smock of silk under moonlight

      wait for tieds, magic and days

      to grind, mill, turn

      and water you

      wait for sentiment

      to be smoothed

      into a milk-white shell

      an alluvial sign I can ossify

      from crested wavers within

Then I'll hitch my lady poem

to a star that tames gypsy passions

passions Tsvetaeva wrapped 

around herself

like an underwater cloak

      before her unsteady boat

      any my unbuttoned throat

both slid like petrified arms

into the dark green sleeves

of broken

gothic waters

(I hope it is okay to reproduce this here.  It seems in keeping with the copyright clause in the front of the book.)

To read "Poem of the End" by Marina Tsvetaeva you can follow this link:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/booksblog/2008/jun/02/poemoftheweek41
or this one, which has links to translations of a number of her poesms:
http://faynights.users.btopenworld.com/Laura/Marina/poems.html

The Dispossessed

Ursula le Guin is one of my favourite authors.  I only discovered her a few years ago when she was referenced in the movie version of "The Jane Austen Book Club".  Since then I have been metering out her books so that I don't run out too soon.  I have been saving this book for a while and I am happy to say that it did not disappoint. 

The Dispossessed is a fantastically complex novel and yet it is a very engrossing read.  Le Guin has an amazing talent for exploring weighty themes in her novels without the character or plot becoming staid or "preachy".
 
The dilemmas and conflicts face by the main character, Shevek, take us through a wide range of issues and ultimately address our ideas of utopia and meaning.  And, being good science fiction, there is also a good dose of ethics, gender issues, psychology (with a not-so-subtle reference to the Stanford Prison Experiment), speculative physics and of course, relationship concerns. 

Capitalism, Socialism and Anarchism are all treated with an even hand.  History has already shown us some of the possible pitfalls in capitalism and socialism.  In some ways The Dispossessed  is a thought experiment in Anarchism, and, given that le Guin has no historical examples of how a large Anarchist society might work, I think she gives a convincing account.  The ideals of anarchism are respected even while showing the difficulties in practical application that may occur and indeed compound over time.

It was particularly good timing for me to read this as I am currently study a 1st Political Science unit:  The Liberal Democratic State.   It has been fascinating and informative to study the early ideology of Liberalism and see how this has, in practice, delivered many unintended consequences in our contemporary capitalist and individualistic society.  As we scratch our heads and wonder what are our alternatives I think that le Guin's offering can perhaps help us to think a little more broadly and creatively.

Living Organized

On average I have read a home organisation book about every 2 years of my married life - making this number 5 (I think).  This little book was a quick read and provided me with a few helpful hints and a big shot of motivation for keeping my home a bit more organized.

It also encouraged me to think about my own "style" and to get an image of what I would ideally like my home to look like so that I have something to work towards.

She starts the book with a quiz entitled "Do you need this book?
I had to laugh at question 2:
"The thing that most frightens my children is
a. the thought of being killed in a car accident.
b. the threat of international chaos.
c. the possibility that one of their friends might come to our house without giving a two week warning.

Well, I don't have kids, but I could certainly identify with this fear.  When I know that people will be visiting my home I like to have it looking clean and presentable.  If you come to my house at a prearranged time you will enter a place of orderliness and serenity and will probably be greated by the smell of freshly baked biscuits or muffins.  But, pity the fool that drops in unannounced!  They will be greeted by a very embarrassed hostess who quickly tries clear a place for them to sit down, and they will likely leave with cat fur clinging to their clothes.

Needless to say - this is not how I want to live! 

So, time to get organised.  But I have done that many times before.  So really what is needed is a plan that not only helps me to get organised but also helps me stay that way.   Felton's book has encouraged me to get a strong visual image of the beautiful home I want to achieve.  Now to see if I can continue to work toward that goal!

Saturday

“This commonplace cycle of falling asleep and waking, in darkness, under private cover, with another creature, a pale soft tender mammal, putting faces together in a ritual of affection, briefly settled in the eternal necessities of warmth, comfort, safety, crossing limbs to draw nearer - a simple daily consolation, almost too obvious, easy to forget by daylight.” 

“He's feeling a pull, like gravity, of the approaching TV news. It's a condition of the times, this compulsion to hear how it stands with the world, and be joined to the generality, to a community of anxiety. The habit's grown stronger these past two years; a different scale of news value has been set by monstrous and spectacular scenes. [...] Everyone fears it, but there's also a darker longing in the collective mind, a sickening for self-punishment and a blasphemous curiosity. Just as the hospitals have their crisis plans, so the television networks stand ready to deliver, and their audiences wait. Bigger, grosser next time. Please don't let it happen. But let me see it all the same, as it's happening and from every angle, and let me be among the first to know.” 

This the second novel I have read by Ian McEwan.  I have absolutely loved both!

The first was "On Chesil Beach".   A few pages into Saturday I was wondering why I had waited so long to read another of his books.  Both of these books cover one day in the life of the characters (actually even less in OCB), with forays into their past via their personal musings and memories.  The one day format seems to encourage the feeling that you want to devour the book and I would have been blissfully happy to read both in one long sitting if life had permitted.  Next time I read one of his books, which won't be too far away I am sure, I will make sure I start it on a lazy day when I have hours ahead to enjoy it.

McEwan is an amazing story teller and quickly sucks you into the world of the characters.  Simply getting dressed to play squash or cooking fish stew becomes a fascinating episode that draws you further into the characters mind.

The book was thoroughly researched, and, particularly as a doctor, I was very impressed by the depth and accuracy of the medical and neurosurgical detail.

McEwan touches on so many important and complex matters, but the issues are weaved so expertly into the narrative that it feels completely natural and unobtrusive and therefore all the more thought provoking.

I know I am raving but I just have to say "Bravo McEwan!  I can't wait to read more of your work."

The Brain That Changes Itself

I have really enjoyed this book.  Informative, inspiring and very easy to read.   The book is well researched and thoroughly footnoted. 

The quote on the cover is from Oliver Sacks, and the book has similarities to Sack's writing.  Anyone who enjoyed "The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat" will enjoy this. The subjects include brain development, learning disorders, sensory loss, anxiety and obsessional disorders, the benefits of psychoanalysis and of course stroke and other brain injuries.  The stories of personal triumph over disability are very moving, and the advances in the relatively new science of neuroplasticity are amazing.

But Doige goes beyond just reporting on interesting stories of disordered neurology. He has an agenda and seems genuinely concerned about the health of our brains in our current society.

The appendices are worth reading.  Appendix 1 "The Culturally Modified Brain" will fascinate and horrify.  The statistics about children and television watching are frightening.  The information about babies and brain plasticity, in this appendix and through out the book, are worth reading by any new or prospective parent.
  
Chapter 4, "Acquiring Tastes and Loves" was a little discomforting to read, and was perhaps a little more explicit than strictly necessary at times.  However central issue, how internet pornography is affecting people, is significant enough to warrant reading the chapter.

I came away challenged and motivated to do things, and keep doing them, that will help my brain stay fit and stave off Alzheimer's disease and general age-related decline.  

If you want a few hints on preventing the onset of your own dotage, here is a little snippet:

The more education we have, the more socially and physically active we are, and the more we participate in mentally stimulating activities, the less likely we are to get Alzheimer's disease or dementia. 

Not all activities are equal in this regard. Those that involve genuine concentration—studying a musical instrument, playing board games, reading, and dancing—are associated with a lower risk for dementia. Dancing, which requires learning new moves, is both physically and mentally challenging and requires much concentration. Less intense activities, such as bowling, babysitting, and golfing, are not associated with a reduced incidence of Alzheimer’s.

More than Matter: What Humans Really Are

The question of what it is to be a human person is the biggest intellectual question of our day.

I have enjoyed reading this book. I often paused, put the book down and thought. (Which seems like exactly what a good book should lead you to do.) Thought about things like the nature of reality, meaning in the universe and the value of human life. All with lots of question marks.

My one word response to the book is: unconvincing.
And yet I did enjoy it and I very glad I read it.

Ward presents an argument against a materialist view of humans (that we are purely matter) and advocates for a metaphysical view part-way between Idealism and Dualism, so called Dual-aspect Idealism. It is not easy going and would be pretty tough without a basic knowledge akin to "Philosophy 101". But it is still a very enjoyable read as Ward writes with a level of humour that had me chuckling out loud at times.

For me, the crunch of the book came in Chp 9: "In Defense of dualism". The book seemed to be building up to this point and, after reading his arguments against materialism/physicalism, and his "doesn't this sound nice" enthusiasm for idealism, I was looking forward to finally reading his arguments for dualism. However the chapter seems to be a tenuous pulling together of insubstantial strings of various pro-dualism ideas, none of which are convincing on their own, and together are no more convincing. So much for that!

In the final chapter "Can we still speak of the soul?" he alludes to his Christian views, though a lot of Christians would have trouble reconciling Ward's well thought out religious ideology with their own narrow view of the bible. He paints a beautiful picture of dual-aspect idealism which culminates, in distant space-time, in a kind of utopian future of super minds which "transfigure all the conflicts and suffering of our previous lives." (It sounds wonderful and reminds me very much of a Stephen Baxter Sci-fi trilogy that I thoroughly enjoyed!). Ward then goes on to say:

That is the dream of idealism. But is it true? It must be plainly said that there is no proof. Yet it is more than an ideal wish. It is rooted in the firm belief that mind is the ultimate nature of being, and that intelligent mind aims, as far as it can, at goodness, at what is worthwhile for its own sake. This dream is what mind would realize if it could, if it were at all possible. It does seem possible, since it contains no contradiction. Dare we then hope for it?

My response to this: Hmmmm, I think it probably is no more than an ideal wish, but yes, I do still feel that it is worth hoping for, especially if this leads people to living a more full and ethical life. I wholeheartedly agree with his beliefs in practice: that we should act as though mind matters, humans have special value and strive for goodness for goodness sake, (not just to avoid punishment or gain reward - as the lowest form of most religions boils down to).

After living most of my life believing that I had a "soul" that would continue to exist independently of my body after death, I now find it hard to see how any form of my personal consciousness can exist when my neurons stop firing. I still hope it is so, but I really see it as no more than wishful thinking. It seems to be contradicted by the increasing evidence from neurobiological sciences that our "thoughts" are accounted for by the function of our neurons. When neurons are interfered with, via trauma, drugs or direct electrical stimulation, it leads to completely different "thoughts", and thus personalities, beliefs, etc. The demise of my faith started long ago, Phineas Gage you did not help it. The questioning started something like: "But if someone believed in Jesus before an head injury and afterwards denied him, when they died did they go to heaven or not?". Thinking this through over the subsequent years (18 to be precise, now that makes me feel old), it now seems to me when neurons stop working we will stop "thinking", and therefore stop "being".

Descartes: I think therefore I am.
Me: When my neurons stop firing, I stop thinking, therefore I am not.???.
(Though Descartes would definitely not agree with me)

I do not warm to this conclusion, I don't want it to be true, but I can't seem to shake it. Professor Ward, I had hopes that you might be able to at least give it a little shake, but alas, you have not!

For more info on Keith Ward:
http://www.keithward.org.uk/about/

The White Castle

I belong to a lovely little book club. I joined mid 2010 and have been loving it. I have read quite a few books that I would otherwise probably never have considered, and possibly never even come across.

The first book for the year was White Castle. I can't say I was very impressed! Especially considering that Pamuk won the 2006 Nobel prize in literature.

At first I was really enjoying it and from the first 1/3 I thought it was going
to be quite an interesting book. There was an interesting resonance between thenarrator and Joseph (as in colourful coat) but then the narrator seemed to lose his appeal and become very annoying, petty and pathetic (is that just a realistic portrayal of someone stuck in slavery or could we have expected more from the character who seemed so much more interesting and determined at first).

The book seemed to get really bogged down, repetitive and tedious in the middle. And I found the ending frustrating. At the end I was left wondering if I had missed the point and failed to unravel the mystery?. Or is it actually just that the the book is a bit trite?

Overall I am glad I read it but won't be in a rush to read any more Pamuk books!

Getting Real

I came across Susan Cambell about 2 years ago at the Rangiora Public Library. The book on the shelf at that time "Saying Whats Real" was amazingly helpful at the time. And I have revisited the notes I made from the book when I have found my self struggling again to express myself.

I ordered a second hand copy of "Getting Real" from Better World Books (highly recommended). It is actually a forerunner of "Saying What's Real" and I think it would have made more sense to read them around that way. However, I think the principles and advice in "Saying What's Real" was more immediately applicable and effective - or is that just because by the time I finally got around to reading "Getting Real" I had already integrated some of the key messages into my life. That's not to say that I didn't learn a lot from this book, a lot that I am still digesting and learning, slowly, to apply. Well, onto the summary....

She begins by giving a very absorbing (though slightly kooky) account of her upbringing that illustrates how she (and by implication we) come to be the way we are. I found I could identify with so much of what she had to say about the formation of her personality and default communication strategies that I felt right away that I could learn a lot from her journey and the lessons she had learned.

Campbell's basic premise is that much/most of human communication is motivated by the intent to control - others, ourselves, outcomes, our environments. When we feel uncertain of an outcome we immediately/unconsciously fall back on old communicating strategies that will lead to a familiar outcome - even if this outcome is unpleasant/destructive. It's like we are all running around with the MO of "Better the Devil you know".

Her solution is to "Get Real" and there is a good does of only partially concealed Buddist philosophy in the accept "What Is" advice, rather than fretting about what we think should/could be. She sums it up as "How to stop being right and start being real".

Not surprisingly, after all this is a self-help book, there is a 10 step plan for changing your life:

The 10 Truth Skills
1. Experiencing what is.
2. Being transparent.

3. Noticing your intent.

4. Giving and asking for feedback.
5. Asserting what you want and don’t want.
6. Taking back projections.
7. Revising an earlier statement.
8. Holding differences or embracing multiple perspectives.
9. Sharing mixed emotions.
10. Embracing Silence.

For a little more info on each "skill" :
http://www.susancampbell.com/datinghelp/10truthskills.html

The two "skills" that I recognised as most difficult for me are "Being Transparent" and "Asserting what you want and don't want: supporting your feelings with action." I guess the transparency issue is partly pride, partly a difficulty trusting enough to make myself vulnerable and partly feeling like I don't want to burden people (a lot of this is really about devaluing yourself at the heart of it).

It may not seem, to some people who know me, even those who know me quite well, that I have a lot of trouble with this. And, honestly, I don't think I used to have so much trouble with it. But it seems to have become increasingly difficult as I have gotten older. I am still working out how much of this is due to misguided concern for other peoples feelings (misguided because if you really care about someone else you will have the respect to deal with them truthfully), and how much is due to fear - of many things but primarily of disappointment.

I do think most people, and most relationships, could benefit from some of the insights of this book. I think I will revisit the summary from time to time to remind myself to stay present and to be real.

My New Reading Journal

My previous reading journal (a good old fashioned cloth bound book) is just about full and I am finding Visual Bookshelf annoying.
So I have decided to try this format for my reading journal for 2011.

This more for my own record, amusement, improvement etc, than for posterity. So please excuse the rambling and bias.

I have kept a reading journal for many years - some years it does not contain much and some years it really only contains page-turning fiction. But some years, particularly the last few years, it has been a great place to debrief and contend with my changing paradigm, frustration (a kind of long-over due teenage angst), relationship issues and general emotional out pourings.

This online version will probably still suffer from some punch-bag debriefing sessions, but I suspect I may pull my punches a little as my ego tries to censor the content. In the interest of keeping a true record for my future self I will try not to do this too much.

Well, here goes
:)