Saturday

“This commonplace cycle of falling asleep and waking, in darkness, under private cover, with another creature, a pale soft tender mammal, putting faces together in a ritual of affection, briefly settled in the eternal necessities of warmth, comfort, safety, crossing limbs to draw nearer - a simple daily consolation, almost too obvious, easy to forget by daylight.” 

“He's feeling a pull, like gravity, of the approaching TV news. It's a condition of the times, this compulsion to hear how it stands with the world, and be joined to the generality, to a community of anxiety. The habit's grown stronger these past two years; a different scale of news value has been set by monstrous and spectacular scenes. [...] Everyone fears it, but there's also a darker longing in the collective mind, a sickening for self-punishment and a blasphemous curiosity. Just as the hospitals have their crisis plans, so the television networks stand ready to deliver, and their audiences wait. Bigger, grosser next time. Please don't let it happen. But let me see it all the same, as it's happening and from every angle, and let me be among the first to know.” 

This the second novel I have read by Ian McEwan.  I have absolutely loved both!

The first was "On Chesil Beach".   A few pages into Saturday I was wondering why I had waited so long to read another of his books.  Both of these books cover one day in the life of the characters (actually even less in OCB), with forays into their past via their personal musings and memories.  The one day format seems to encourage the feeling that you want to devour the book and I would have been blissfully happy to read both in one long sitting if life had permitted.  Next time I read one of his books, which won't be too far away I am sure, I will make sure I start it on a lazy day when I have hours ahead to enjoy it.

McEwan is an amazing story teller and quickly sucks you into the world of the characters.  Simply getting dressed to play squash or cooking fish stew becomes a fascinating episode that draws you further into the characters mind.

The book was thoroughly researched, and, particularly as a doctor, I was very impressed by the depth and accuracy of the medical and neurosurgical detail.

McEwan touches on so many important and complex matters, but the issues are weaved so expertly into the narrative that it feels completely natural and unobtrusive and therefore all the more thought provoking.

I know I am raving but I just have to say "Bravo McEwan!  I can't wait to read more of your work."

The Brain That Changes Itself

I have really enjoyed this book.  Informative, inspiring and very easy to read.   The book is well researched and thoroughly footnoted. 

The quote on the cover is from Oliver Sacks, and the book has similarities to Sack's writing.  Anyone who enjoyed "The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat" will enjoy this. The subjects include brain development, learning disorders, sensory loss, anxiety and obsessional disorders, the benefits of psychoanalysis and of course stroke and other brain injuries.  The stories of personal triumph over disability are very moving, and the advances in the relatively new science of neuroplasticity are amazing.

But Doige goes beyond just reporting on interesting stories of disordered neurology. He has an agenda and seems genuinely concerned about the health of our brains in our current society.

The appendices are worth reading.  Appendix 1 "The Culturally Modified Brain" will fascinate and horrify.  The statistics about children and television watching are frightening.  The information about babies and brain plasticity, in this appendix and through out the book, are worth reading by any new or prospective parent.
  
Chapter 4, "Acquiring Tastes and Loves" was a little discomforting to read, and was perhaps a little more explicit than strictly necessary at times.  However central issue, how internet pornography is affecting people, is significant enough to warrant reading the chapter.

I came away challenged and motivated to do things, and keep doing them, that will help my brain stay fit and stave off Alzheimer's disease and general age-related decline.  

If you want a few hints on preventing the onset of your own dotage, here is a little snippet:

The more education we have, the more socially and physically active we are, and the more we participate in mentally stimulating activities, the less likely we are to get Alzheimer's disease or dementia. 

Not all activities are equal in this regard. Those that involve genuine concentration—studying a musical instrument, playing board games, reading, and dancing—are associated with a lower risk for dementia. Dancing, which requires learning new moves, is both physically and mentally challenging and requires much concentration. Less intense activities, such as bowling, babysitting, and golfing, are not associated with a reduced incidence of Alzheimer’s.

More than Matter: What Humans Really Are

The question of what it is to be a human person is the biggest intellectual question of our day.

I have enjoyed reading this book. I often paused, put the book down and thought. (Which seems like exactly what a good book should lead you to do.) Thought about things like the nature of reality, meaning in the universe and the value of human life. All with lots of question marks.

My one word response to the book is: unconvincing.
And yet I did enjoy it and I very glad I read it.

Ward presents an argument against a materialist view of humans (that we are purely matter) and advocates for a metaphysical view part-way between Idealism and Dualism, so called Dual-aspect Idealism. It is not easy going and would be pretty tough without a basic knowledge akin to "Philosophy 101". But it is still a very enjoyable read as Ward writes with a level of humour that had me chuckling out loud at times.

For me, the crunch of the book came in Chp 9: "In Defense of dualism". The book seemed to be building up to this point and, after reading his arguments against materialism/physicalism, and his "doesn't this sound nice" enthusiasm for idealism, I was looking forward to finally reading his arguments for dualism. However the chapter seems to be a tenuous pulling together of insubstantial strings of various pro-dualism ideas, none of which are convincing on their own, and together are no more convincing. So much for that!

In the final chapter "Can we still speak of the soul?" he alludes to his Christian views, though a lot of Christians would have trouble reconciling Ward's well thought out religious ideology with their own narrow view of the bible. He paints a beautiful picture of dual-aspect idealism which culminates, in distant space-time, in a kind of utopian future of super minds which "transfigure all the conflicts and suffering of our previous lives." (It sounds wonderful and reminds me very much of a Stephen Baxter Sci-fi trilogy that I thoroughly enjoyed!). Ward then goes on to say:

That is the dream of idealism. But is it true? It must be plainly said that there is no proof. Yet it is more than an ideal wish. It is rooted in the firm belief that mind is the ultimate nature of being, and that intelligent mind aims, as far as it can, at goodness, at what is worthwhile for its own sake. This dream is what mind would realize if it could, if it were at all possible. It does seem possible, since it contains no contradiction. Dare we then hope for it?

My response to this: Hmmmm, I think it probably is no more than an ideal wish, but yes, I do still feel that it is worth hoping for, especially if this leads people to living a more full and ethical life. I wholeheartedly agree with his beliefs in practice: that we should act as though mind matters, humans have special value and strive for goodness for goodness sake, (not just to avoid punishment or gain reward - as the lowest form of most religions boils down to).

After living most of my life believing that I had a "soul" that would continue to exist independently of my body after death, I now find it hard to see how any form of my personal consciousness can exist when my neurons stop firing. I still hope it is so, but I really see it as no more than wishful thinking. It seems to be contradicted by the increasing evidence from neurobiological sciences that our "thoughts" are accounted for by the function of our neurons. When neurons are interfered with, via trauma, drugs or direct electrical stimulation, it leads to completely different "thoughts", and thus personalities, beliefs, etc. The demise of my faith started long ago, Phineas Gage you did not help it. The questioning started something like: "But if someone believed in Jesus before an head injury and afterwards denied him, when they died did they go to heaven or not?". Thinking this through over the subsequent years (18 to be precise, now that makes me feel old), it now seems to me when neurons stop working we will stop "thinking", and therefore stop "being".

Descartes: I think therefore I am.
Me: When my neurons stop firing, I stop thinking, therefore I am not.???.
(Though Descartes would definitely not agree with me)

I do not warm to this conclusion, I don't want it to be true, but I can't seem to shake it. Professor Ward, I had hopes that you might be able to at least give it a little shake, but alas, you have not!

For more info on Keith Ward:
http://www.keithward.org.uk/about/

The White Castle

I belong to a lovely little book club. I joined mid 2010 and have been loving it. I have read quite a few books that I would otherwise probably never have considered, and possibly never even come across.

The first book for the year was White Castle. I can't say I was very impressed! Especially considering that Pamuk won the 2006 Nobel prize in literature.

At first I was really enjoying it and from the first 1/3 I thought it was going
to be quite an interesting book. There was an interesting resonance between thenarrator and Joseph (as in colourful coat) but then the narrator seemed to lose his appeal and become very annoying, petty and pathetic (is that just a realistic portrayal of someone stuck in slavery or could we have expected more from the character who seemed so much more interesting and determined at first).

The book seemed to get really bogged down, repetitive and tedious in the middle. And I found the ending frustrating. At the end I was left wondering if I had missed the point and failed to unravel the mystery?. Or is it actually just that the the book is a bit trite?

Overall I am glad I read it but won't be in a rush to read any more Pamuk books!

Getting Real

I came across Susan Cambell about 2 years ago at the Rangiora Public Library. The book on the shelf at that time "Saying Whats Real" was amazingly helpful at the time. And I have revisited the notes I made from the book when I have found my self struggling again to express myself.

I ordered a second hand copy of "Getting Real" from Better World Books (highly recommended). It is actually a forerunner of "Saying What's Real" and I think it would have made more sense to read them around that way. However, I think the principles and advice in "Saying What's Real" was more immediately applicable and effective - or is that just because by the time I finally got around to reading "Getting Real" I had already integrated some of the key messages into my life. That's not to say that I didn't learn a lot from this book, a lot that I am still digesting and learning, slowly, to apply. Well, onto the summary....

She begins by giving a very absorbing (though slightly kooky) account of her upbringing that illustrates how she (and by implication we) come to be the way we are. I found I could identify with so much of what she had to say about the formation of her personality and default communication strategies that I felt right away that I could learn a lot from her journey and the lessons she had learned.

Campbell's basic premise is that much/most of human communication is motivated by the intent to control - others, ourselves, outcomes, our environments. When we feel uncertain of an outcome we immediately/unconsciously fall back on old communicating strategies that will lead to a familiar outcome - even if this outcome is unpleasant/destructive. It's like we are all running around with the MO of "Better the Devil you know".

Her solution is to "Get Real" and there is a good does of only partially concealed Buddist philosophy in the accept "What Is" advice, rather than fretting about what we think should/could be. She sums it up as "How to stop being right and start being real".

Not surprisingly, after all this is a self-help book, there is a 10 step plan for changing your life:

The 10 Truth Skills
1. Experiencing what is.
2. Being transparent.

3. Noticing your intent.

4. Giving and asking for feedback.
5. Asserting what you want and don’t want.
6. Taking back projections.
7. Revising an earlier statement.
8. Holding differences or embracing multiple perspectives.
9. Sharing mixed emotions.
10. Embracing Silence.

For a little more info on each "skill" :
http://www.susancampbell.com/datinghelp/10truthskills.html

The two "skills" that I recognised as most difficult for me are "Being Transparent" and "Asserting what you want and don't want: supporting your feelings with action." I guess the transparency issue is partly pride, partly a difficulty trusting enough to make myself vulnerable and partly feeling like I don't want to burden people (a lot of this is really about devaluing yourself at the heart of it).

It may not seem, to some people who know me, even those who know me quite well, that I have a lot of trouble with this. And, honestly, I don't think I used to have so much trouble with it. But it seems to have become increasingly difficult as I have gotten older. I am still working out how much of this is due to misguided concern for other peoples feelings (misguided because if you really care about someone else you will have the respect to deal with them truthfully), and how much is due to fear - of many things but primarily of disappointment.

I do think most people, and most relationships, could benefit from some of the insights of this book. I think I will revisit the summary from time to time to remind myself to stay present and to be real.

My New Reading Journal

My previous reading journal (a good old fashioned cloth bound book) is just about full and I am finding Visual Bookshelf annoying.
So I have decided to try this format for my reading journal for 2011.

This more for my own record, amusement, improvement etc, than for posterity. So please excuse the rambling and bias.

I have kept a reading journal for many years - some years it does not contain much and some years it really only contains page-turning fiction. But some years, particularly the last few years, it has been a great place to debrief and contend with my changing paradigm, frustration (a kind of long-over due teenage angst), relationship issues and general emotional out pourings.

This online version will probably still suffer from some punch-bag debriefing sessions, but I suspect I may pull my punches a little as my ego tries to censor the content. In the interest of keeping a true record for my future self I will try not to do this too much.

Well, here goes
:)

The Children's Book

Wow! What an amazing book.

(Warning: spoilers)

So many of the characters were richly drawn and completely believable. The level of detail about so many topics was surprising and very thought provoking. The only difficulty was the level of assumed prior knowledge in some areas and I had to do a bit of googling to know what she was on about sometimes. However I do not see this as detracting from the book at all - if anything it enriched the experience.

I started feeling really sad as I got close to the end as I did not want to leave the characters and I was starting to wonder how Byatt could possibly wrap it all up. But I was very satisfied with the completeness of the ending and the feeling that things were left as they should be. Byatt has taken the reader through some enormous changes in her characters and the world they live in and it is all portrayed so smoothly and convincingly.

My only discomfort is that Herbert Methley did not seem to get his comeuppance. I really, really wanted him to be disgraced or humiliated in some very public way. But I guess a male character getting away with his level of pompous and self-indulgent destruction of other peoples (i.e. females) self-worth is entirely in keeping with some of the major themes.

Not surprisingly Dorothy was my favourite character. I think the whole scene where she bites to defend herself is just fantastic. I felt like cheering!